Broken And Cut
by xXxThreeDaysGracexXx
Summary: Clare Is going through alot. She Finds a way to relieve her stress! Please read, it's better then it sounds!Rated T for language and other stuff;
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors Note: Hi This is my first fan fiction! I have actually had this account for a couple of months but couldn't think of a story! But last night 3 Idea's Popped in to my Head, One of my stories will be Clare is dating Fitz but he physically hurts her and she has to keep it a secret especially from Eli. My other one will be Eclare one shots, Then a Series of Flare One Shots. Then this one! Ok I will stop talking and Go on with the story!**_

_**Oh Yea and I Do not Own Degrassi!**_

_**Summary: Clare Is going through a lot and finds a way to relieve her stress and wash her worries away. Please Read **__**J**_

"_Randall You missed Our family dinner again!" Clare heard her mother shout_

"_Well I'm sorry Helen But someone_ has to support our family!" Her father shouted back

Clare heard more and more screaming. "_Great" _she thoughtThe first day of school

Was tomorrow and she knew she would be up all night.

She heard a glass break and more screaming. She began to cry But quickly wiped the

Tears away. She turned her head to her night stand and saw the razor blade she had used

Earlier that day to open a package from her Grandma. _Just one time, Maybe it will help_

She thought And before having second thoughts she grabbed the blade and ran to the

Bathroom. She held the blade to her forearm very tightly and then _silt_. She winced in pain

And forgot all about her parents. She thought the pain felt Good, Nice, She could not

Describe what the pain felt like. For one minute she was happy and forgot about

Everything. She forgot about her parents, her sister, and she forgot about her life.

Clare Watched as her blood slowly dripped down. She sighed and turned on the shower.

She went to bed feeling relieved, fresh and fell asleep.

**Authors note; Ok so I know its really short but this is more of a prologue to show**

**how everything is going on! I do not now how it feels when you cut yourself,**

**I used to burn myself with salt and ice and that's just how I felt. Please please **

**REVIEW! But don't be too mean! J **

**~Trinity;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note; I do not own Degrassi!**

**Clare's POV;**

**I Woke up. Today was the first day of school. I had been dreading this day all**

**summer. I liked the teachers and liked to learn but I would have to see KC and Jenna.**

**Don't get me wrong, I'm completely over KC but I still don't want to see Jenna And KC **

**making out. **

**I Walked downstairs to get breakfast. I'm surprised I haven't heard my parents **

**fighting yet! "Randall Do You plan on joining us for dinner tonight?" My mom said**

"**Well Helen I don't know, things are really hectic at work!" My mom sighed. **_**Great Here we go again **_**I thought to myself. I walked back upstairs and started crying. I looked over**

**and saw the razor blade **_**maybe just one more time?**_** I Grabbed the razor blade and ran to my bathroom. I held the shiny metal to my wrist and. **_**Slit! **_**The pain felt so good but then I remembered I had to get to school. I put on Jeans And A long sleave pink flower shirt.**

**45 Minutes later(Still Clare's POV)**

**I walked downstairs without a word to my parents. I Was walking to Degrassi And Saw Ali, She ran up to me and gave me a hug. "OH MY GOSH, CLARE I LOVE YOUR**

**NEW LOOK!" Ali said. Yea so after the whole KC Jenna thing I cut my hair, Dyed it**

**ginger, And got laser eye surgery. "Thank you Ali" I reply We walk into degrassi And**

**Pass KC and Jenna making out, Ali scoffs while I laugh at how gross they are. I didn't **

**realize were I was going and bumped into some boy with Gorgeous Green eyes.**

"**Oh Um Sorry" He says and bends down to pick up his books. I get down to help him.**

**We both look up at the same time And Just stared into each others eyes.**

"**You have Pretty blues eyes" He says I look down and notice the blood running through my sleeve. "Oh um thank I have to go" I say and run to the bathroom To wash Off the **

**blood.**

**Right as I am finished Ali walks in and says "It looks like Clare Has A new Beau".**

**I Roll my eyes and we leave the bathroom and im left wondering who the mystery boy is**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note; Well I had an awesome day today and then a review made my day even better So I'm going to continue this story and also will start another story tomorrow! Oh and I'm sorry that I use the word slit so much, I just don't know many adjectives to describe how she is cutting! Any way here is the actual chapter 3!**

**Oh and I do not own Degrassi!**

Clare' POV: I was walking to my next class which is 11th grade Advanced English. I Still wondered who that boy was with the amazing eyes. But I was also worried that he saw the blood. I walk into the classroom and sit down. I Hear someone sit in front of me but I pay no attention. Then Ms. Dawes puts a paper on my desk And The boy sitting in front of me turns around. I realize he is the same boy from the hallway. "Oh so we meet again? I'm Eli And I'm guessing your Clare" He says How did he know my name? "Um Yea, How do you know my name?" I Say He smirks and says "Well Ms. Dawes just assigned us partners" "Oh" Was all I manage to say

"Yea so let's get started" He says I Frown and say "Well I wasn't paying attention so do you mind telling me what we are doing?" He laughs and says "We are supposed to write about our life" I look at him confused so he continues "Ok well we are basically supposed to write about what makes us happy, What makes us sad, What makes our life great, And what our struggles are in life" _Great_ I guess I will just have to lie, I say to myself.

"So um How about I come by your house tonight at 8 to edit your paper?" He says. "NO!" I say a little to loud. I Just don't want him to see my parents fighting. Plus if he goes in my room he can see the blood stained tissues and the blade I use. "Um Ok how about tomorrow?" He asks. "No No I-I'm Sorry but I have to go." I say before I take my bag and run to the bathroom. I Have to do something to forget about my parents. I Take out my scissors, Hold them directly to my wrist And just cut. I sigh in relief and watch as the blood flows down the sink._ "This is the last time" _I tell myself. I clean up the blood And run, I don't know were I'm running but I know I can't go home and I can't go back to school.

**So what did you think? REVIEW PLEASE! I love to hear what people think of it! Oh and also you can private message me to ask any questions, for my email, for my twitter, for my face book, Or just because you want to talk about music or writing or stories! Thank you and don't forget to review!**

**~Trinity**


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note; I do not own Degrassi J

Clare's POV;

I Kept running until I saw a park. I was out of breath and decided to sit on the swings. I Remember Going to the park and having a picnic with my family. Everything seemed so simple then. My mom and dad loved each other. My sister was the happiest person in the world. And Me, I Was always the one who thought we were a perfect family and nothing would ever change. But know look how Fucked up everything is. And yes I _"Saint Clare" _Just said Fucked. Well I don't know if I should still be called a saint. I mean why would I have a reason to believe in God when all the crap is happening to my family. I Mean come on my sister was raped, My parents marriage is practicly over. And then there's me, The one who tries to be the perfect daughter, The one who has to get good grades, The one who has to stay "_Saint Clare"_, And the one who has to hold the pieces to what's left of my family. I have to hide my feelings for the sake of my family. I feel like I'm about to cry and go sit on the bench. I lay down and I hear thunder, But I don't care. I feel my eyes Slowly Closing.

Eli's POV:

Did I say something wrong? I mean she just literally ran out of the class. Maybe she has some kind of Messed of home life? I Don't think its any of my business but I should atleast go see if she is ok. Especially since its about to storm outside. "Ms. Dawes I think Clare is sick, May I go check on her?" I say hoping she will let me out of the class. "Sure Eli go ahead." I Walk out of the classroom and walk to Morty, my hearse. I Have no idea where Clare lives so I might as well drive around. I turn Morty on. It begins to rain, really hard. I wonder to myself why I am so worried about a girl I haven't even known for a whole day. But I could see something it her eyes, Pain, Sadness, And her eyes were the most beautiful color of blue. I am wrapped up in my thoughts but then I see a figure laying on the bench. I realize its Clare. I get out of Morty And Run towards her. And Say "Clare?" She doesn't answer so I begin to shake her and she opens her eyes and….

**Ha Ha kind of a cliffhanger. And no, this isn't a story were clare falls into Eli's arms and they fall in love. I want my story to be more realistic! So It will take time for them to build their realationship and C;are will have her cutting problem. Well please REVIEW! Love you guys**

**~Trinity;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: Ok so my computer is finally working! I'm so so sorry I haven't been able to update! I really hope people are still reading this story. Today I'm home sick and I was in fan fiction and was like Holy Shit today is the perfect day to update! Now I will try to update daily!**

**I do not own Degrassi****L**

No POV: Clare woke up screaming, gasping for air. To her surprise Eli was the person to wake her. Eli jumped back. "Jesus Clare you scared the shit out of me!" Said Eli. "I-I'm sorry" Clare stuttered. " C'mon Clare your freezing". Eli helped Clare up and they began to walk to Eli's car. Once they were there Clare froze in her place. "You drive a hearse?" Clare asked with a confused look on her face. Eli only smirked and Opened her door. He grabbed a blanket from the back of the hearse and got back in the car and gave it to Clare. "Thank you Eli". Clare said " Clare why were you sleeping on the bench in the rain?" Asked Eli. " I didn't get much sleep and wasn't feeling well so I- I don't know I guess I just was really tired". Clare replied. "And why did you run out on me during class?" Eli asked. " Eli I just wasn't feeling well ok? So can you just drive?" "Uhh Sure do you want to go home or go to the dot or any were else?" Said Eli. "Please just take me home". Clare said.

Clare's POV: "Please just take me home" I said to Eli. I gave him my address. The car ride was silent. Not really akward, Just comfortable. Eli must have known something was wrong so he didn't want to question me any further. We pulled up in front of my house and Eli opened my door for me. "Clare here is my phone number, Just call anytime you need to talk." Eli said. "Oh uh Thank you Eli. Goodnight" I replied. He smirked and said "Good night Clare". Wait, did Eli Goldsworthy just give ME, HIS number? Wow. I Go into my house. As soon as I walk in I hear my parents fighting. My Dad throws a plate at my mom and it barely misses her. They don't even notice me. They don't notice I'm wet from the rain. They don't notice I'm late. They don't notice me or how they are breaking me. They don't care about me. I run up stair and grab my scissors. I hold it to my fore arm and just cut. I sigh in relief as the blood gushes down my arm. I put my arm under the sink focet and wince as the cold water touches the new open wound. It looks like I'm wearing long sleeves tomorrow.

**A/N I know I know its sort. But I just felt like this was a good place to stop. I don't want to move to slow, But I don't want to move too fast either. So yeah. Review please? It will make me feel better!J**


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: Hello Readers! Ugh guess what I found out today? I have add strep all week and gave it to my brother. Ha ha yeah it sucks. We are both just sitting at home. And I decided to update! Yay! Ha, well enjoy!**

**I do not own Degrassi.**

Narrators POV:

"Randall where the Hell were you last night?" "Bitch why do you have to always know where I am?" then there was a slap. "Don't you Dare call me that! You discust me!" "Oh yeah then why are you still here?" "I'm here for Clare and I'm not leaving! Maybe _YOU _should leave!" "You know what Helen? I think I will!". Clare had heard everything. _Did he really leave? _She thought. _Does he not care enough about me to stay?_ Tears were forming in her eyes. _No, I can't cry. I have to be strong. _So instead of crying she grabbed the razor. She walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. See the shower is just a shower for some people, A place to get clean. But for Clare the shower was were she went to relieve stress, To escape from the world, she also loved the way the steam and hot water hit the newly open cut. She had a problem, She new this. She new it was unhealthy. But did she care? _No_. So just like she always does, she grabbed the razor held it to her arm and breathed out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding in. She washed her hair and got out of the shower. She wrapped her hair in a towel while she searched for clothes in her closet. She decided on gray skinny jeans and I long sleeve shirt that was black and had a red drawing of a tiger on it. She sliently made her way down stairs, grabbed her backpack, and headed to school. The whole day was a blurr. She couldn't consitrate. The walked into English and sat behind Eli with out a word. "Okay class, Today I want you to get with your partners, Ask them 10 questions, then write a poem about them. Get to work" Said Ms. Dawes. "Hey Partner" Eli said with a smirk. "Oh hey" Replied Clare with a smile. "So let's get started, Favorite color?" Asked Eli "Red" said Clare. Next it was Clare's turn. "Why do you always smirk, but never smile?" "Well I don't know my lips are just slanted and I hate showing my teeth, so I smirk." Replied Eli. Clare secretly loved that smirk of his. Clare was staring at Eli's lips the whole time they were talking. Eli noticed this and decided to play with her. "Okay my turn, Do you want to kiss my lips?" He said teasingly. Clare smirked and replied "Well Goldsworthy, what kind of a question is that? Of course I want to kiss you!" This surprised Eli. They both started to lean forward. Clare's lips were centimeters away from Eli's when she turned her head. "That'll teach you not to tease me Goldsworthy." Clare said with a wink. Eli was, dissopointed. He longed for Clare's lips to be on his. As did Clare. These two were growing feelings for each other, anyone could tell. But Clare was scared. KC had hurt her last year, and with her parents, How could she like or even love anyone. Both teens pushed those feelings aside and continued their assignment, Wishing that they had kissed.

**A/N Ha did you think I would make them kiss that fast? Pssh no. BUT they are growing feelings for each other so be excited! This is my longest chapter, and probably my best. REVIEW! Oh and if you like Flare check out my other story **_**I Shouldn't Love You**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: Well, I have writers block, plus I'm sick, So this chapter is okay I guess. Sorry.**

**I Do Not Own Degrassi or Hear Me Now by Hollywood Undead.**

Clare's POV: The bell rang so I walked to my locker. When I got there Eli was waiting.

"Hey Clare, what are you doing after school?" He asked. "Nothing." I replied. "So do you wanna come to my house after school and maybe talk some more?" Wow did he really just invite me to his house? "Um yeah sound great!" I said a little too excited. He smirked. "Okay meet me by Morty, my hearse when your ready". I put my stuff In my locker and walked outside. He smirked at me. I returned a smile to him. He walked around and opened my door. "Thank you" I said. "No problem" He replied. When he got in the car, he turned the radio on. Hear Me Now by Hollywood Undead came on, blasting really loud. He reached to turn it down. "No don't, I love this song" he stared at me in disbelief "You like Hollywood Undead?" I chuckled "Uh yeah, there music is amazing!" he laughed. "Wow I never would've pictured Saint Clare liking Screamo"

"Actually they don't scream that much, that could be labeled as a hip-hop band, a rock band, anything really. Their music has everything and has meaning to it. That's why I love them" There was a red light and he looked at me "Wow Clare that's deep". "Ha yeah sorry, Music is pretty much my life." _Well music and the Razor_ I thought to myself.

The rest of the ride was silent. When we got to his house we walked to his room and started talking. "Favorite type of music?" I asked him "Heavy Metal. You?" he replied

"Alternative rock, Well any kind of rock really, I like Heavy Metal, Punk Rock, Indie Rock." he chuckled after I said that. "I thought you would be more the pop type. Like Lady Gaga or something." I laughed "No the only pop music I like is Taylor Swift".

"Favorite band?" I said. "Escape the Fate. You?" he replied "Three Days Grace" I said.

We went back and forth like that.

Eli's POV:

I really am falling for this girl. I already like her but found out we have a lot in common. Alright I'm going to tell her how I feel. "Clare I really like you."

Narrators POV: "Clare I really like you." Said Eli. "Eli, I think I like you too." they both started to lean forward. When their lips touched sparks flied. It was the most magically feeling the both of them have ever felt. Eli licked Clares bottom lip, begging for entrance. She opened her mouth and their tongues explored each others mouths. Until Clares phone started to ring. "Sorry." She said and stepped into the hall. Eli was left with a smile on his face. When Clare came back she said "It was my mom, she wants me home." she walked out the door and Eli grabbed her arm. He felt bumps on her arm and lifted her sleeve up. "Clare what's this?"

**A/N I think 7 chapters was long enough for them to wait to be together. Lol Lots of drama is coming. This story will probably be 12 or 13 chapters and will have a sequel! Oh I want at least 3 reviews(20 total) For an update! So please review, it will make me feel better! (: **


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note: Another update in one day? Wow ha but I was bored and decided to update again! And it's short, Sorry. Enjoy!**

**I Do Not Own Degrassi**

Clares POV:

"Clare what's this?" I Panicked I ran down the stairs and out the door. "Clare, Clare, Clare come back, Clare!" Eli get screaming my name. I can't let him found out. He will try to stop me, try to get me to stop. But cutting is the _ONLY _that makes me happy. People wouldn't under stand. I want the razor, I _Need_ the razor. Cutting makes me feel better. I know that I'm broke, I know that I'm messed up. But I need this. And Eli wouldn't understand. I got tired of running. I realized I was at a neighborhood park. I walked over to the swings. I sat down and began to cry. I cried for my parents. I cried for Eli. I cried for me. But then I remembered, I don't have to feel like this. I can take the pain away. I grabbed the extra razor blade out of my pocket, pulled my sleeve up, And made three new cuts. One for me, One for my parents, And One for Eli. I began to sob silently. This was suppose to help, Why was is it making me feel worse now? I threw the razor down and screamed. "Oh Clare" I heard someone whisper. The voice of angel, such a sweet, delicate, caring voice. The voice of the man I have only know for a short amount of time, but has grown to be my best friend. The voice of a man who knows me better than Ali. The voice of a man I am falling in love with. I turned to my left to see Eli with watery eyes. "Clare, ehy would you do this?" He said. "I don't know." I whispered. "How could you have done something so stupid?" he said. "I Don't Know" I whispered. "Clare why? Why Clare?" he said. I stood up and yelled "I don't know Ok? It- It helped ok!" "Clare you could have died" He replied. By this time we were both crying. "I know Eli" I said. He ran up to me and hugged me. We were crying, holding each other. "Clare I know we have only known each other for a short amount of time But, I Love You. You have to stop I-I can't loose you." "Eli I know, I will stop. I Love You Too." He kissed me. It turned into a make out session. We continued to kiss until he pulled away. "Clare tell me why, let me help you." We sat down and I told him everything. I told him about my parents, About Darcy, About KC. I told him about my dad leaving. He held me as I cried. He told me about his parents, about his little sister Julia getting hit by a car, and how hard it was for him to move on. "Clare, I'll always be here for you. I Love You". He said. "I know Eli, Thank You. I Love you too."

**A/N So I'm actually thinking 2 more chapters for this story. I know this story went really fast. But I already have a really good sequel planned. I'm updating my Flare story **_I Shouldn't Love You _**tomorrow by the way. Um I should update by tomorrow, and the last chapter Monday, then the sequel on Monday too. Oh and**

**REVIEW? (: XD**


	9. The End

Author's Note: I change my mind. I'm finished with this story, and I'm posting the sequel tomorrow! Don't worry, the sequel has a TON of drama and I think the plot is really good. I can't really say anything about it without giving it away, but if you don't car if I give it away and want me to tell you, then message me. It's going to be called _If It Means A Lot Too You _ Look for it!


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